So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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