i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
