I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
