i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
