I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
