tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
They have beer where we have blood.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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