i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
