WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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