I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize