Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
