They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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