I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
