I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
