She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
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My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
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She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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