dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
