Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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