i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
