Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
