If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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