apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
