I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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