who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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