I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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