OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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