Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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