i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
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The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
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Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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