Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
