This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
