Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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