I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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