Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
