the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Someone came in the potted fern
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
