So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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