New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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