I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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