I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
