There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
