accomplished twins. life is a go
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
