I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You dont lie about slip and slides
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
