No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
