one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My breasts were aching with rage.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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