Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
