I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
