wakey wakey hands off snakey
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
