What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
