This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
