I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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