Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
