youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
