Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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