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I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
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