did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
