marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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