i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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