You surviving the open bar?
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They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Two words: blizzard sex
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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