The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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