he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
