I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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