I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
