If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
