PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
that is very illegal...i love you.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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