Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
