you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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