If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize