when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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