i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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